Why we must love questions

People who ask interesting questions are interesting and make conversation interesting.

Let’s study the art of asking questions.

Why do we need to ask questions?

We build rapport with questions, we work out facts, we determine customer needs, problem solve, sell, select, interview, check progress, show interest in those around us… and meet our own needs.

The essential attitude

Often it is not the style of question that makes the difference but the ability to use a positive, friendly tone of voice. Virtually any question can be delivered in a harsh, demanding, put down tone, or can be delivered positively – inviting the other person to want to answer.

Similarly if your body language is closed – poor eye contact, sour or deadpan expression, angry look – your questions will likely get a defensive or closed response. Some people at work become too formal with their questioning, or too authoritarian, often because no one has given them feedback on their tone and delivery.

Use silence

People are uncomfortable with silence – so give people time to answer a question. Some take a lot longer than others to formulate their replies.
However, when people are reluctant to answer, using silence puts pressure on them to answer and is a useful strategy.

Closed questions are efficient

These short questions lead to short efficient answers, eg. Have you completed the assignment? Do you know how this works? Yes/no.
These kinds of questions give you control of a discussion.
Closed questions are usually appreciated by those whose first language is not English.
They can be superficial and give you little idea of detail below the surface.
One problem is that asking too many closed questions can sound like an interrogation.
Asking multiple questions without giving the person time to answer is not helpful… and is often more a stream of ideas from the “questioner” rather than a way to engage the other person.
Multiple-choice questions can be useful, but can be overwhelming for some people in a dialogue.

Open questions provide useful information

Why, how, what, please describe, tell me more, etc are good open style questions for building rapport, sales and service interactions, interviews, counseling and appraisals.
When coupled with an ‘interested’ tone they can be a great way to explore issues and find out new information.
These questions help you to get to know the other person and gives the freedom to create their own responses.
Open questions are a great way to get into deeper discussion, find out background information and leap beyond your own thoughts and assumptions.
One of the best ways to uncover a person’s motivations or to solve problems is to ask open questions.
Behavioural interviewing questions are specialised open questions, eg. “tell me about a time in a previous role where you had to manage a team in a stressful situation and how you managed that?”

Combining open and closed questions

It is useful to move from closed to open, eg. Have you experienced something like this before? Yes/no. Tell me about it.
Or at specific points through open questioning you can move from open to closed, eg. So what happened next? Were you worried?
A useful strategy with interviewing or service and sales situations is to repeat what they say after an open question, and finish with a closed question, ask is this correct?

Questions in a group

Ask open or closed questions, but remember not to put people on the spot who may feel humiliated or embarrassed.
Questions that link to a discussion where someone has said something before are good because they acknowledge the contributions.

Questions to motivate

Questions can be a great way to motivate people and get them enthusiastic.
Challenge questions are good to get people involved, stimulated and into problem solving.
Questions can be used to trigger an action – wanting someone to take responsibility.
Ask questions with ‘we’ and ‘us’ eg. “How will we solve this?”

Caution with some question styles