Dear Aunty B,
I manage an employee who on the outside is very charismatic and positive. But behind people’s backs she is bitchy and manipulative. She is always putting down people in her team to me so she can appear better than them. She will often claim their success as her own even if she only helped them with a bit of advice.
My problem is that apart from this flaw she is really good at her job. I want to create a new position and put her in charge of her colleagues but this one problem is making me hold back. My staff know that she does this and are wary of her. But they also learn from her because she is so talented and they like her because she is fun and loud and motivating.
I have talked to her on a number of occasions about this negative side but she sees it as giving me valuable information about people’s performances. She also keeps telling me that if she ran the place there wouldn’t be these problems. Her response is she is quite happy not to tell me things if I don’t want to know them – which of course I do. And maybe I should give her a shot at running things.
Aunty, if I don’t promote her I will have to go to the market and I don’t want to because she would then get her nose out of joint and leave anyway.
Really, really confused
Dear Really, really confused,
I would like you to stop for a second, get down on your knees and nod in my direction. Because this very morning, I am going to save you from making a terrible mistake.
Do not promote this person to a management position.
1. A manager is a leader.
2. A leader needs to be secure enough in themselves to truly rejoice in other people’s success.
3. A leader needs to be able to communicate to others that a person has been very successful.
4. A leader doesn’t sleep at night if her staff aren’t successful.
5. A leader thinks about the individuals in her team and how to assist them be successful.
6. A leader thinks about the right buttons to push to motivate the person to be successful.
7. A leader gives credit to staff for every little thing she can think of because her great staff make her look good.
8. A leader openly acknowledges the reason for her success is her great team.
9. A leader employs people who are better than her and wakes up every day feeling great about it.
10. A leader understands their own weaknesses, can take criticism on board and change.
The person you are considering for leader does not tick any of those boxes. She will continue her current behaviour but have more power in your organisation. Her focus is on herself and not your business nor your people.
This is what we call a lone player. They are great in a start-up because they have a lot of drive and energy. In a simple environment they flourish because they get a lot of attention.
As a business grows, these people often find it hard to adjust. They hate working in a structure and often undermine people to recreate the start-up environment when it was only them and the boss. I am sure it stems from deep child hood stuff but whatever. That’s not your problem.
What you need to do with her is give her a position where she reports directly to you and she actually has as little to do with other staff as possible. That way they gain from her presence in the office without being affected by her appalling management skills and insecurity.
Be smart,
Your Aunty B
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