Dear Aunty B
I am sure you fancy a sexy high heel as much as the next woman. But am I the only one on the planet that thinks this new fashion is ridiculous?
The young women in my office have taken to wearing these half-metre high shoes that firstly elevate them off the ground and then tip them forward, so they look they are going to land on their noses.
Of course they can’t walk in these contraptions, so instead they stumble and sway across the office carpet spilling food and coffee as they go.
While the stains on the carpet are really annoying me, I am more concerned about their health! By the end of the day, their feet are so painful they have to hobble around in their stockings, giving themselves foot massages!
My fear is that they will injure themselves at work, they will sue and I would be liable. Surely I cannot be responsible for the dangerous attire they choose to wear to work.
Are you kidding? Of course you will be held liable. If there is a claim, you just try and convince WorkCover that it is not the employer’s fault their employees are indulging in foot torture. There’s bound to be a loose carpet join or a feral computer cable that is really responsible.
I asked our legal adviser Uncle P (Peter Vitale* to you) for advice, and he recommends that you ask staff to sign a dress standards policy that points out the risk of ungainly and dangerous footwear.
You should also take the clowns aside and tell them in the nicest possible way to keep their stilts for the circus and to please wear more practical shoes to the office. After all, if staff are not racing around trying to bring money in the door in this environment, then they may well be shown the door!
Your Aunty B.
* Peter Vitale is the principal of CCI Victoria Legal