Do I have to close the office kitchen because of the breakfast pigs?

Dear Aunty B,


We have tried everything to keep our office kitchen clean. We have tried nice notes, nasty notes, threats, pleading – in fact everything we can think of to get our staff to clean up after themselves in the kitchen.


The majority only use it sparingly and have heeded the calls. But there is a small group of people who are just pigs!


These usually are the breakfast eaters. They spill cereal and toast crumbs on the benches and then leave bowls encrusted with dried bits of gunk and curdling milk on the sink all day.

We have rostered people on to stack and unstuck the dishwasher, but they are fed up.


Do I have to close our kitchen?




Dear CC,

Of course you don’t have to close the kitchen. Only in big business do the majority suffer because of the thoughtless and stupid actions of minorities.

In fact this is the marvelous thing about a small business. You know exactly who the main offenders are!

Everyone knows who they are, and everyone talks about the offenders behind their backs. All day. In fact when the pigs walk past, everyone wrinkles their noses as they imagine their stinky bathrooms, mouldy sinkholes and unchanged bed sheets. Yuck!

So therefore you can easily target the offenders, but unfortunately one option won’t work. You could try naming and shaming them, but the problem is they don’t care. They have been badly brought up and expect other people to wait on them.

Plus they have kitchen psychosis, a problem which usually afflicts teenagers where they can not see the point of washing dishes and happily use the dish sponge to wipe up spills on the kitchen floor.

You have one option. On the kitchen door you put a big sign saying: “Message from the boss: the following people are banned from this kitchen. See Xxxxx and Yyyyy to have kitchen privileges reinstated.”

Suddenly those poor kitchen volunteers who have been ignored by the pigs will have tremendous status.

Better still, you can have a cuppa whenever you want one!

Problem solved!

Your Aunty B.

Aunty B - Your problems answered by SmartCompany's business bitch

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