Give referrals the boot

Dear Aunty B,

I am a senior manager and I keep being asked to post online referrals for staff.

I have always been happy to, but recently a former staff member who left decided they didn’t like the referral I gave them online and they sent me a rewritten version, which actually had a lot of half truths because this person had lots of issues that they didn’t even know about.

When I refused to change the referral – which was actually really good – he made a vague hint about defamation and suing me! I feel so cross that I went out of my way to give him a referral when I actually didn’t think he was that good and then he treats me like this.

I don’t want to take it down, but I never want to hear from him again. Also I am sick and tired of writing referrals for existing staff. Why should I help them get other jobs when they are working for me?




Dear Dani,

Why on earth do you think you have to spend your day writing referrals for staff you employ or have moved on? You don’t!

Make it a blanket rule right now: No referrals. There. Feel better?

Sometimes I think I spend half my time teaching you lot to be more assertive!

There are many demands made on bosses all day. It is a good idea to learn to filter them and decide where the best use of your time is spent. I would suggest it is with mentoring existing staff and helping them do their job better than at a computer banging out referrals.

Be smart,

Your Aunty B


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