I am squeezed between kids, work and marriage. Help!

Dear Aunty B,

I am pregnant with my first child and love my job, but I am looking around at all my friends and it seems impossible to have it all.

Some have cut back hours even from their part-time jobs, one got divorced (and now she has a whole week off to herself which she hates by the way), while others have quit work altogether.

I want to go back soon after the birth, but everyone is telling me it is impossible.

Your thoughts please as I am feeling quite despondent about it all.

Anna,

Moorabbin

 

Dear Anna,

For goodness sakes, everyone feels despondent before having a baby.

You are lugging this huge stomach around, you can’t sleep, you have indigestion, you haven’t had sex for months and you are bored stiff.

Take a leaf out of my book and keep working until your waters break. That way you are at least distracted and are not spending a lot of time thinking thoughts that you won’t even remember when the baby comes.

Look, of course you can do it all, have it all, and be it all. The clue is to have either a very supportive husband or an ex-husband that has the kids regularly. If you have a husband who is unsupportive or sexist then you are in strife.

Some can be trained with a lot of effort, but many career women just end up dumping the blokes who end up on RSVP, which is then where these same women then go to look for new partners. Go figure.

You also need to be very focused, very disciplined and accept there isn’t a lot of time left over after career, marriage and children. But you can squeeze in a bit of life too.

And it’s not forever. Once the kids hit their teens you get a lot more time back. Me? My teenage sons are 19 and 17. Bliss!

I actually miss them now when they are not home for dinner instead of doing cartwheels at the thought of having a night off from cooking giant meals full of carbohydrates.

What you also need are some new friends who are trying to do it all or have done it all. They will inspire you to keep going when it all seems too much.

Be smart,

Your Aunty B

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