Dear Aunty B,
I have just left a job in a corporate office and am renting part of an office from a friend.
She is also sub-letting another part of the office to another friend of hers and it is a great opportunity because it is a great location and we are not paying an arm and a leg.
I love the office, the view, the location and everything except my office mate. There is just the two of us in quite a large room and we really didn’t have much to do with each other until the other day when, out of the blue, he told me that he would like to have sex with me.
He is American, and I don’t know if it is their style, but he said it just like that. I was shocked because until then there has been nothing like that and I hadn’t even picked up any interest from him and, from my end, it had never even crossed my mind. I think I put on a good show and told him I wasn’t interested. I actually finished off by saying no, but thanks anyway, and then we both went back to work.
The thing is I am wondering how I should be feeling. He is about 15 years older than me; I’m 25. Is he likely to follow up on that behaviour or is it more likely that he will never mention the issue again? Do I need to move? Should I tell our mutual friend? I mean, he isn’t my boss – I just share an office with him.
Am I being naive? I thought of telling him I had a boyfriend but then I don’t want to get into some lie with my friend who might tell him I don’t.
Sex and the office,
Dear Sex and the office,
Reading between the lines your preference is to stay put, put it behind you and get on with your work.
So, why not? Yes, his inquiry was inappropriate, and it is hard to gauge what sort of man would just come out with a question like that, especially if you say there had been no signs from either of you that there was any mutual attraction in the air. But it sounds to me like you handled it well and he has moved on.
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I don’t think you are being naive, just grown up. But do make a pledge to yourself: If he makes any more overtures of any kind, tell your friend. And make him leave. Why should you.
Your Aunty B
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