I’m in trouble with my staff over men in tight shorts. Help!

Dear Aunt,


I hate football. But to get a bit of team spirit pumping through the office we introduced footy tipping. I offered to pay for one of my staff to do the tipping for both himself and me.

Last year I won, which really annoyed the office and was great for me because I have never won anything in my life. The reason I won was because my staff member just picked the favourite team every week while all the crazy one-eyed supporters picked their own team, which of course didn’t always win.


My staff have made a new rule, that everyone has to do their own footy tipping this year or they can’t enter.


Surely this is against the spirit of the competition, and I should be able to take part in my own office’s footy tipping competition. Please don’t suggest I actually do the tipping myself as I don’t even have a team. Plus there is so much running around in my brain there is no room for a study of men in tiny shorts, leather balls and white poles. Unfortunately.




Dear Lou,


The answer is simple – you’re the boss, insist you’re in, and get the staff member to do your tips.  If you win, you take the money and shout everyone a few drinks at the pub. This might require you to tip in a bit more, but I am sure that generous offer will buy you peace, office harmony and team spirit.


One point though. Don’t gloat as you win week after week, and don’t belittle the game.


I have found it is quite easy to nod thoughtfully through a conversation on football while doing the week’s cashflow in my head. I memorise the name of a few high profile footy players every season and join a conversation by asking how they played. I find that the answer is usually long enough to run through an entire sales report in my head.


Happy footy,

Your Aunty B.

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