Most of us think we can forgive (and have forgiven) but many of us do no such thing. It takes great compassion to forgive. Especially when the transgression is pretty bad.
Power Players make an honest choice. First they decide if they can forgive. If they can’t, they don’t and they do what they can to have little to do with that person ever again. If they can forgive, they do it.
They tell the person (so that the poor soul knows where they stand) and then they move on. They never dredge up the past and they never use it as ammunition.
But the most important part of this whole story is the ability to face the reality of what forgiveness means. It means digging deep for the compassion most of us hope will be offered by someone else if we are the ones who screw up.
It also means being completely honest about your own cruelty or judgment: because if you have chosen not to forgive, it also means that you judge the transgression as something you would never do and this means that you feel you are a better quality human being than the other person. And that’s a big call to make.