Dear Aunty B,
I have a boss who is never happy. She always wants more from me no matter how much I give.
If I achieve a target, rather than praising me she tells me as a reward we can actually go after a new target.
As a result, I never feel that I have pleased her and I actually find this really stressful.
I sometimes dream I have reached a stage where she is satisfied and we all sit down and have one big rest but I know it is never going to happen.
She is not your mother. You sound like you are expected to take a lot of responsibility but are not taking control. That means your boss is always setting the plan, setting the goal posts and is then micromanaging you.
The way out of this dilemma is to set your own agenda. Tell her you are ready to step up. Then agree on your KPIs and targets.
Set stretch targets as well. Then get her to agree that these are very much larger targets and you will be working very hard to pull these off. Also tell her that you would like some recognition when you reach these targets and explain this will them make you even keener to chase higher targets. This might put her mind at rest.
I know bosses who feel that praise means staff will rest on their laurels when in fact it does the opposite. It spurs them on!
Also learn to congratulate yourself. Open a bottle of champagne and pat yourself on the back. Tell your family and friends of your achievements and celebrate with them. Too often, women need to hear it from others because they don’t take any notice of themselves.
Your Aunty B
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