My two-faced new boss cancelled lunch. Help!

Dear Aunty B,

My mate at work has just got a whopping promotion (undeserved) and become my boss’s boss! And it’s like she has had a new head grafted onto her body. She now has a corner office and calls us even when we’re all busy into endless meetings about paradigms and “future visions”.

She and I always worked closely together and helped each other out but now it’s like she has turned into a judge! The last straw was when she cancelled lunch with me yesterday because she was too busy and then I saw her hanging out with the bosses. I don’t know how I am going to be able to work with such a two-faced person.

Should I leave? I have other options.



Dear LT,

You need to take some responsibility for this problem. When people get promoted, their job, time commitments and hours change. So do their priorities. Look at it this way. You had a business friendship with her and now that the business has changed, the friendship might too.

So your friendship with her might not continue. But she is also now your boss and you need to accept that. She isn’t going to help you out in the old collegian way anymore. She in fact will be deciding on your next pay rise, whether you get promoted or given the boot.

One last thing: Are you sure you are not being sexist? Often when a female gets promoted a weird sort of inverted sexism occurs, whereby women who are quite okay being managed by a man, find it hard to be managed by a woman, especially when she was once “equal”. So if I was you, I would have a bit of a soul search about your own attitudes and behaviour. Don’t forget, if you leave this job the same thing might well happen at your next.

Good luck!
Your Aunty B

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