Bedside self-defence when things go bump in the night

Ever woken up after hearing a bump in the middle of the night, and wished you had a baseball bat beside your bed for protection?

 

Thanks to this bedside table-as-shield-and-club idea, you won’t need to.

 

The top of the table turns into a shield while the base turns into a club. All you need next is a medieval battle cry to really frighten the burglars.

 

But why stop at the bedside table? Why not look at turning a tall lamp into a lance?

 

What other items of household furniture do you think can be turned into weapons of self defence?