When I gave up the darts after 15 or so years as a smoker, it was really hard for me. I tried a whole lot of systems but they all failed. Then it occurred to me that the only thing the systems had in common were that they were systems, and hence I had something to lay blame on when I failed.
I then decided to go cold turkey so I could only blame myself if I failed. Surprise, surprise it worked – as I couldn’t bear to think of myself as too weak willed to give up smoking. This “me making the change” rather than using a system is now a recurring theme in my life.
So last weekend I had two different people asked me “how come you know so many people and how do you remember all their names?” The answer, which sounded a little disingenuous, was that I had become genuinely interested in people and I actively try to meet new people. What I discovered was that if you are genuinely interested in people, their story, their ambitions and their personal circumstances, it’s incredibly easy to remember their name as you’ve got to know them, not categorised them in you head.
As I mentioned in a previous blog, I don’t care whether someone is a CEO or a cleaner. When I meet someone new, I focus on them. Where they came from, where they are going and who is with them on the journey.
Conversation is never difficult as everyone loves to talk about themselves and are generally subject matter experts. I don’t have a flowchart running in my head, asking the question: “Are they an opportunity? Yes/no”. There is only a small chance that they are an opportunity, but what’s almost certain is that they will have opportunities for me within their own network and if I have mindshare with them, I communicate my needs clearly and they have goodwill towards me – they will bring those opportunities to my attention.
I also discovered four other things about meeting and remembering the names and circumstances of a large number of people:
- Like most things in life it becomes easier and easier with practice until eventually you have unconscious competence.
- It’s just as easy to remember 1,500 people as it is 15, if you actually know the person.
- The more people you know, the more likely it is that you can help out members of your network and generate goodwill by introducing people.
- It’s a much better way to live your life, to connect with people rather than going hunting.
- I know that sounds a bit trite but it makes me enjoy my career and selling rather than just playing a role. Really what could be more interesting that spending your life getting to know, understand and help other people?
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Brendan Lewis is a serial technology entrepreneur having founded: Ideas Lighting, Carradale Media, Edion, Verve IT, The Churchill Club, Flinders Pacific and L2i Technology Advisory. He has set up businesses for others in Romania, Indonesia and Vietnam. Qualified in IT and Accounting, he has also spent time running an Advertising agency and as a Cavalry Officer with the Australian Army Reserve.